Welcome to 2019! For some reason everything is different this year, and you need a brand new approach to hiring writers that haven't worked in previous years. This definitely isn't a shameless approach to keyword stuffing, no sirree.

There are a ton of options out there to hire freelance writers, each one worse than the previous. If you want to find the best places to hire overpriced writers from places you've never heard about, this is the place for you!

Welcome to ContentFly's snarky guide to our competition.

ContentFly

Alright, I'll be honest, my CMO Annika yelled at me for not including ourselves on the list, so here you go. To be honest we're better than everything else on the list, and that's completely not my totally biased opinion.

You know those listicles other people do, which are effectively just an ad for why their own product is better than everything else? Well I've decided to just be outright about it and not insult your intelligence.

🤦

Upwork

Here's why Upwork sucks: there's no quality control, writers can pretty much charge anything they want as long as they can throw up some fake portfolio samples, and there's no insurance or refund policy. Basically, you pay for what you request, and if you get screwed - too bad!

Here's why Upwork is good: they have the single biggest network of writers on the planet. Seriously, their number of writers is probably more than we spend per year on salary for our writers. So whoever you're looking for is definitely somewhere on Upwork - you just have to spend a few agonizing months digging for them.

Hallelujah.

Freelancer

Here's why Freelancer sucks: there's no quality control, writers can pretty much charge anything they want as long as they can throw up some fake portfolio samples, and there's no insurance or refund policy. Basically, you pay for what you request, and if you get screwed - too bad!

Here's why Freelancer is good: they have the second single biggest network of writers on the planet. Seriously, their number of writers is probably more than we spend per year on salary for our writers. So whoever you're looking for is definitely somewhere on Freelancer - you just have to spend a few agonizing months digging for them.

See what I did there? Who needs original content!

Articoolo

If you're like most people, you're going to spend a bunch of time on Upwork and Freelancer desperately trying to find a writer who doesn't suck. At some point you're going to throw your hands in the air and scream "why can't a computer just do this?!"

After said comical gesture, you might find yourself heading over to Articoolo and getting an article written by an AI. That's right, the robots aren't just stealing your jobs or hacking your  mainframe, they're also writing your articles. Is nothing sacred anymore?

I'll be honest, the quality kinda sucks and it's vaguely illegal and plagiarized - but if those things don't bother you, this is an awesome way to stuff the hell out of every keyword you can think of.

(P.S. try some funny search terms like "unicycle" - it gets pretty hilarious)

Constant Content

OK, let's get one thing out of the way: I'm lazy. So lazy that about a 3rd of this article was literally copy and pasted from another part of this article.

Now if you're somehow even lazier than I am, there's another option: buy articles outright! That's right, what's the point of coming up with a nifty creative vision and contracting some writers to make it a reality?

You can just buy someone else's vision!

According to the constantcontent website, such prolific organizations as Sears and Sportchek buy content from there, so it must be legit - after all, we know how famous Sportchek is for inspired, beautiful content.

Please don't buy content. Seriously - I'm breaking the 4th wall here and appealing to your humanity. Get your 8 year old nephew to write for you in exchange for candy or something, but please don't buy content.

There's a certain beauty to having your ideas put on paper - even if it is grammatically incorrect and riddled with Serbian idioms.